Moody
I have been so moody lately and I think it is because of the amount of things I am either dealing with or not dealing with in some cases. I have finished my 6 month diet to qualify for weight loss surgery and they have submitted the paperwork to the insurance and they said I should hear back in about two weeks. I am so scared there going to say no. I need this and I think if they say no I will probably just give up because I feel trapped inside my own body. I am still struggling with the death of my father and while everyone is asleep at my house I hide in my closet and cry, I feel like I was robbed and wronged in so many ways that I can barely even function when I think of him or his mother, I would call her my grandmother but I don’t think I have it in me anymore to even let her in my heart, I am done being made to feel not good enough. I am so sick of being sad and crushed emotionally that I fear I might be damaged beyond repair… No one should have to feel like this.
on top of everything, I am so sore right now it is terrible… I fell down a flight of stairs in my house and landed on my back which sucks because my back and hips were already messed up so now its even worse.
anyways that is basically all I can muster up to talk about right now. I need to get some sleep.
-Nicko.
You’re having an awful time, aren’t you? Mid-winter BLARG.
It’s a tough thing to feel this way – I know. Nicko, you’re going to be fine. Sooner or later, you’ll see the sun, things won’t be quite so dark, and, well, you’ll be fine. We have to believe that – for the kids, for ourselves. You can’t let Outside Stuff get you down – YOU have the power over YOU.
I’m not putting this well, am I? I just mostly want to say – I know. And I feel for you.
some days I am fine, but once in a while it is just not a good day. Thank you for your comment, I think you put it well
and you are right, one day things will be better and I will be able to put it all behind me.