Nickoshi

Healthy? me?

Nickoshi — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 06:29:18 +0000

It has almost been a year since I had my gastric bypass and since then I have lost 82 pounds but surgery can only do so much and it only gave me a window of time (17 months) to be the most effective weight loss tool it can be.

So in preparation for my “tool” to stop working overtime I have been taking my health and fitness into my own hands and learning to finally eat healthy and work out routinely so I can continue on my road to being the best me that I can be (Jillian Micheal’s here i come!).

3-5 days a week (I usually aim for 5 days) I do 20-30 minutes of cardio which leaves me sweating like a dog but feeling great. and for the past month I have been adding in strength training every other day. The tricky and most difficult part for me has been learning how to eat healthy and get myself in a mindset where I do not feel deprived or like im going to turn into a rabbit at any minute. Basically I am limiting what I eat to about 1200 calories a day and most of that is vegetables and fruit because lets face it, i can eat a bowl of these things and not blow my calories for the day.

I eat as healthy as I can ALL day but then eat a normal and sometimes calorie packed dinner with my family so I can feel normal and connected with with my brood. I have to say that even if I am eating a lot of healthy food I do not sit around whining all day about how much I want a cookie or a bag of chips because if I want it that bad I will have a cookie or a few chips and factor it into what I can eat in my day… portion control is super important to learn and I am trying my darndest!

Last year I bought a digital food scale and have been using it religiously for the past few months. I pre-portion most things before I eat them, like nuts I will put in a snack bag and measure out exactly 1 ounce so I will not mindlessly eat them because that is super easy to do when your snacking (especially in the middle of the night >.< ).

Honestly what im trying to do is not diet but instead change the way I eat permenantly because with diets they usually end after a while and then most people gain everything they lost back… so, if I change what I eat and how I feel about food then it wont be a diet but instead I will think “its just the way I eat” and I am learning new things everyday that are helping me to achieve this.

I never knew that I would like tofu… I mean, when I thought of tofu it made me think of a bunch of new age hippies sitting around munching granola while trying to channel inner peace lol, which is okay but for me it is way out of my comfort zone in what I thought of as ME. All week last week I was cubing up tofu and stir frying it with veggies and seasonings and I have to tell you, I was shocked at how much I really liked it and even more shocked at how satisfied I was with just eating stir fry for lunch or breakfast everyday, which makes me wonder if im going to turn into a new age hippy that munches granola and quotes Buddha.

If I take anything away from all this it is that I am stronger than I thought and determination can be gratifying because the rewards from that determination are worth every sacrifice and every bump in the road.

-Nicko

P.S. This was today’s lunch and no, I did not grow rabbit ears after I ate it.

1 sanwich thin (toasted).

1 tbls fat free cream cheese.

2 slices of turkey meat (ya ya ya its processed, sue me lol)

1/2 cup bean sprouts.

2 tbls salsa.

next time I will add salt and pepper.

Calories: 173. Booya!

Nickoshi — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 17:30:20 +0000

I has ball, nom nom.

doggie dog dogs.

Nickoshi — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 07:16:24 +0000

Whats shakin? Not much here, just hangin out, doing the parent thing… life is pretty much the same with a few MINOR differences…. like the fact that I now have a dog…. ya, a dog. I am not and never have been a dog person, I have two cats, one who is going on 16 years old and the other who is about 2 and a half. I had this weird mania going for a while because I wanted to find a good family dog, this went on for a few months and then I saw an add on Craigslist (you can stop laughing now) yup, the worst place to possibly look for an animal. So, I saw an add on there and even though I did not want this specific type of dog no matter what (a boxer) her pathetic little face just sorta called out for rescue. I ended up calling her owners up and fleeing to where she was within minutes of getting off the phone with the owners. I get to the house and there this dog is, she is severely underweight (saw spine bones, ribs, hip bones… just gross) this dog barked at me, growled at me and generally showed me nothing but dislike… so what did I do? I said “ill take her” so they gave me her leash (while she was still growling at me) and I put her in my car and drove off with her lol. I dont know if I had a complete mental breakdown and lost all my marbles or if it was just something that told me it would be all right but even though we have had a lot (did I say a lot? I meant a TON!) of issues with this dog… i renamed her Luna because her previous name I have dubbed her slave name, I could tell she was abused as well as neglected… it took her mere hours to learn to love me, she followed me everywhere and anywhere, I was her lifeline and her safety… it took her a month to warm up to my husband. Luna loved my kids the moment she saw them but she still will bite a stranger if they try touching her and other dogs have to be introduced to her with a muzzle on because she WILL kill them. She is a long way from being perfect but I have grown to love her… even if her and the cats hate eachother and I have had to pull broken cat nails out of her face numerous times (deep sigh) but the good thing is, I think she is learning lol (fingers crossed!)

Jazzy

Nickoshi — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 06:05:50 +0000

Blows off the dust

Nickoshi — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 10:23:18 +0000

ya ya ya, i have been ignoring my blog… not because I want to ignore it but because I have been uninteresting lately, and boring everyone is not on my high priority list.

okay so lets see, I cut my hair super short, i hate it. so yesterday I went and had some blonde streaks put into the bangs to make it look less boyish and well…plain. i like my hair once again, yey, go me… uh ya.

last time I blogged i mentioned surviving WLS, im still doing that… i have lost about 55 pounds so far which is good but not as good as most people do, im going to blame the soda drinking and the chugging of beer… so I made a food journal and im going to be writing down everything I eat and drink then scrutinizing what I can do to get my weight loss on track (most likely getting rid of the beer, limiting the soda and drinking more water) so now that I have a plan of attack I need to actually get one other thing in motion…. excersise, that one however could be a pipe dream, I hate walking, I cant stand sweating, and when my heart rate gets up I feel like im going to keel over so i may just stick to weight training on my bowflex lol.

anywho, thats about it for now, its late and I really need to get more sleep so i can take my son to school on time in the morning (he is now in kindergarten)

-Nicko

I survived

Nickoshi — Wed, 04 May 2011 00:10:18 +0000

On april 29th I went into surgery for Gastric Bypass and things went well. While having my gastric bypass done they also did a liver biopsy and I will find out the results on the 6th when I see my surgeon again. I stayed in the hospital for two days but had the option of staying a third day but I missed my family, so I came home. I have had some pain and general soreness but I have been doing pretty good. I have been getting in most of my fluids and trying to take it easy but I am already sick of broth and jello… I just want some real food because I still have hunger pains and they don’t want to go away. Anywho just a quick update.

-Nicko

In a week

Nickoshi — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 05:47:59 +0000

I will be undergoing surgery in a week’s time (as long as this nasty cold goes away).

Having been through the most annoying slew of tests, dieting, psychiatric turmoil and sheer frustration with my insurance I have finally reached a point where I can say im ready for Gastric Bypass (not really) so, let the stomach stapling begin!

In all honesty this is something I have been thinking about for years and I remember researching it back in 1995 when I was a teenager, because even then I knew I needed help. I never thought that I would actually get this surgery done because seriously I am not a fan of pain or being denied pizza… but here I am.

I’m scared out of my mind but feel this is my best and last option, so on the 29th if all goes well I will have a stomach the size of a thumb and I will be on my way to being a healthier, happier me.

wish me luck

-Nicko

Vlog: 2/24/11

Nickoshi — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 01:46:17 +0000

Moody

Nickoshi — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 10:13:18 +0000

I have been so moody lately and I think it is because of the amount of things I am either dealing with or not dealing with in some cases. I have finished my 6 month diet to qualify for weight loss surgery and they have submitted the paperwork to the insurance and they said I should hear back in about two weeks. I am so scared there going to say no. I need this and I think if they say no I will probably just give up because I feel trapped inside my own body. I am still struggling with the death of my father and while everyone is asleep at my house I hide in my closet and cry, I feel like I was robbed and wronged in so many ways that I can barely even function when I think of him or his mother, I would call her my grandmother but I don’t think I have it in me anymore to even let her in my heart, I am done being made to feel not good enough. I am so sick of being sad and crushed emotionally that I fear I might be damaged beyond repair… No one should have to feel like this.

on top of everything, I am so sore right now it is terrible… I fell down a flight of stairs in my house and landed on my back which sucks because my back and hips were already messed up so now its even worse.

anyways that is basically all I can muster up to talk about right now. I need to get some sleep.

-Nicko.

I wish life were like a box of chocolates.

Nickoshi — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 06:32:22 +0000

I havent said much about anything lately, not because I have nothing to talk about or have been bored or anything… but the big “P” word keep’s sneaking up on me and forestall my efforts to write. The “P” word I’m talking about is Procrastination, oh yes, serious procrastination, but here I am trying to foible the “P” word and regain a little gumption. So lets see, whats new?

I am still going forward with my plans to have weight loss surgery but it is not something that is on my mind that much because there really is no set date when it will take place because it is a long process. So far I have had my psych evaluation, EKG, blood work and am still on my pre op diet, next I just have to go to a nutritionist which is set for December 1st and from there it should be fairly close to done.

Family life has it’s up’s and downs but lately it has been decidedly down because I am the caretaker for my mother in law who is a brittle diabetic with a christmas list of ailments I cannot keep track of, this of course adds stress to daily life which can sometimes seem like too much and often times IS to much but I take each day as it comes.

My four-year old son has been in preschool for about a month and a half now which is exciting because I can see a change in him that is encouraging, he loves books now and has other children his age to play with while he learns new and interesting things… oh and he brings me home little things he makes at school daily

As for my 19 month old daughter, she is entering that phase of whining and crying at the drop of a hat… drama queen to the max, but she is my cutie pie, gotta love her even when she is throwing herself on the floor screaming because I wont give her my soda (sorry, no soda fer joo!)

I just turned 30… like, today. How odd, I don’t feel 30 and I don’t think I look 30, or maybe that is just wishful thinking, anywho, its bed time, time to cut this short.

That’s all for now folks!

-Nicko